When I read Plato's "The Allegory of the Cave", I believe I saw it for its simplest form. A story of man having to deal with the falsifiable surroundings that we encounter through our lives and being able to find it within ourselves to overcome and feel released, but it was our class discussions that created a greater meaning to the story. With the different meanings for the different characters/acts in the story being listed, it was Jude Morris' idea of the "Cave" being a sort of anxiety that created a relationship between the story and my own life.
When I was a sophomore in high school, I began going through panic-attacks, every day and every moment that I was in school. Til this day, I don't know what the cause was, but it haunted me and disrupted my day-to-day behavior. The anxiety I suffered every day became my "Cave". I was trapped by anxiety and the shadow play on the wall was I and others telling me it was a phase and it would go away very soon. Half the year went by and things never improved, I began ditching class to the point that I ended up going on home studies until I was "normal" and caught up in my classes. My "phase" never passed and I was going into my junior year, still going day by day with anxiety at school. There were times where I wish I had gone through something traumatic, so I'd at least have a reason for what I was going through, but I did not.
Junior year came around and I ended up at an alternative school because and I had fallen behind. Still trapped in my "Cave" and no idea of what was going on with me. The switch to an alternative school didn't change a whole lot as far as improving my situation. It wasn't until the near end of my senior year, when I decided the best thing for me was to drop out of high school and get my GED. This is was the point in my life where I felt a "release", just like the character in Plato's allegory.
Once I had been released, I began to crawl and work my way out of my anxiety, my cave, and it took a large amount of work. Eventually I made it to community college and this is where I felt things became more real. A sense of real responsibility, real motivation and my real self became to form. I was able to work on my anxiety and eventually it became an irrelevant part of me, although I will always consider it a part of me, just not something I deal with on a day to day basis. I stepped out into what is reality and I consider myself and those who helped me as a representation of the "sun" in Plato's allegory.
As for the character in Plato's allegory going back unsuccessfully trying to convince the others that what they see as shadows is not real, I could in someways see myself being there for my friends and family when they go through their own personal "Caves". Even though they might not understand what I convey or believe in what I say, I will try anyways, it's the best I could do.
Your "cave" seems like it was a very difficult thing to overcome. It was something that was overwhelming your life and interfering with your day to day routine and I'm sure very frustrating because you couldn't exactly pinpoint why you were having these anxiety attacks.
ReplyDeleteI know how frustrating that is, I have suffered with severe depression on and off throughout my life and sometimes it feels so overwhelming, especially when you feel like your stuck in the same place.
But I found dancing as my release to let me move forward. Going to class, practicing and preparing for shows allowed me to look forward and not feel stuck in my "cave". Dropping out of high school and getting your GED was the release you needed to find to leave the "cave" and I think it's brave that you took that big of a step to leave your "cave". It must have been a difficult decision.
I think it's awesome that after all you went through with you anxiety, "cave", you want to be there for your friends and family so that they have someone to lean on when they are in their "caves", like they helped you leave your "cave". That is how we move forward, with the support people give us and in turn the support we give them.
Thanks for this thoughtful and honest blog Manuel. I'm looking forward to talking you about this topic more, particularly because I've faced similar struggles on my own path. I think many of us have, at least many people I know. In the meantime, the number one movie I recommend in relation to your story is "Thumbsucker". The main character's story reflects your own, and his growth amidst these struggles is simultaneously very human and very powerful. In a more intense form, this is what Russel Crow's character must overcome himself in "A Beautiful Mind". All three brothers in "Darjeeling Ltd" are facing this struggle too, and they help each other deal with their own stresses too. "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" could be good too. One question I'm curious about from your blog is how did you overcome your anxiety attacks? What role did earning your GED play in that. This could be a key question to explore in your essay. Good work here, let's talk again sometime this week? Let me know if you'd like to and thanks again.
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